Single Woman Says 'I Time My Toilet Trips Around My Neighbor's Sleep Schedule' After Years Of Noise Retaliation By 3 Men — Now She's Selling Her Home

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If you've ever daydreamed about a white-picket-fence life, you probably weren't picturing stomping, wall-thumping neighbors who make you time your bathroom trips. But that's exactly what one homeowner shared in a post titled "I hate my neighbours" on Reddit.

The story begins with goodwill. "I was kind to them when they moved in, I welcomed them to the neighbourhood and tried to be helpful (this probably made them think I was a pushover)," the homeowner wrote. That welcome mat quickly turned into a battlefield. Loud music, slamming doors, banging walls—at all hours. Even a whisper of noise from the poster was allegedly met with retaliation "100 fold."

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The toll was brutal. "I don't cook at home, I barely shower anymore. I time my trips to the toilet when I know they are asleep. It's gotten that bad and I hate this version of myself," they admitted. Eventually, the constant anxiety and exhaustion led them to sell the home: "I can't take this anymore and put my house on the market. It sold within a few weeks."

Readers weighed in with a mix of revenge plots and hard truths. One quipped, "If I'm you, I'm cranking up ‘Baby Shark' to the fullest extent of my speaker capabilities, then leaving for work. Every. Day." Another suggested 10 straight hours of Shrek theme music. Others encouraged going out with a bang: strobe lights, beef bouillon cubes on the lawn, even Slipknot blasting against the shared wall.

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But not all replies leaned toward theatrics. Some urged the poster to keep their dignity and focus on peace. "Don't feel guilty about the people who bought your house. You wouldn't be able to sell if you disclosed the neighbors are nightmares. Your sanity is on the line and you have to save yourself," one wrote. Another added blunt reassurance: "That guilt is unreasonable and out of place. Do you believe you should stay forever so no one else has to deal with the neighbors? Be kind to yourself."

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In follow-up comments, the homeowner revealed just how draining the ordeal had been: "Selling this house and buying my next is costing me £13k [$15,269] that I just don't have but I'm making it work. I just can't function like this anymore they're making my life a misery... I'm also a single female and they are 3 males and a female so I'm massively out numbered."

That detail hit home for others facing their own nightmare neighbors. One reader admitted, "I could have written this myself. It was an awful 6 years... I referred to it as bullying as well. Ended up selling last year and now I'm in a 1-bedroom apartment and it's been soo peaceful."

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For homeowners stuck in similar situations, the post is a grim reminder that the dream house can quickly become a prison if the wrong people move in next door. And while some readers fantasized about air horns and revenge spice balloons, the overwhelming advice was to protect mental health—even if it means taking a financial hit.

Of course, not everyone wants to roll the dice on who ends up on the other side of the fence. That's partly why platforms like Arrived have picked up attention—letting people invest in fractional shares of rental real estate without mowing the lawn, fighting HOAs, or, in this case, battling late-night Slipknot enthusiasts. For some, the idea of earning passive income without dealing with nightmare neighbors is sounding better by the day.

At the end of it all, the poster summed up their decision: "I feel terrible that I'm landing more people into this craziness. The guilt is awful but if I don't leave soon I won't recognise myself any more." Sometimes the best revenge isn't noise wars or prank lawns—it's simply moving on.

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This article Single Woman Says 'I Time My Toilet Trips Around My Neighbor's Sleep Schedule' After Years Of Noise Retaliation By 3 Men — Now She's Selling Her Home originally appeared on Benzinga.com

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